Some thoughts.
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[00:00:34] You are listening to the Mental Wealth Show and me, I'm your host. My name is Rich Jones. Yo! Happy Black History Month 2022. January freaking flew by. I can't believe it flew by that quickly.
[00:00:50] And I know I say that every year, but this year especially because of just how many things happened in the first month. And I'm going to be talking about that on today's podcast. I'm thinking that this is a bonus episode because I'm actually recording it on Friday,
[00:01:06] February 4th. And I had another episode in the hopper that I was going to release where I chat with this brother Jason Brown. But I'm going to hold that because the vulnerability that he shares
[00:01:15] within that episode, I think that it needs its own space. So in this episode, I want to talk a little bit about some things that transpire, not even transpire, because transpire sounds negative. And a lot of what's happened in January has actually been positive. So a lot of
[00:01:29] the things that happened in January that have kind of kept me away from podcasting, but at the same time enriched the quality of my life overall. So this is going to be a bit of a one-off,
[00:01:41] a bit of a freestyle because some mornings I just wake up and I feel motivated. And this was one of those mornings. So let's talk about January because the biggest thing in
[00:01:55] January by far is that after 13 plus years off, and if you've been following me for a bit, you're probably tired of hearing me say this, but after 13 plus years off from track and field, I got back into the sand and officially competed this past weekend. So January 30th,
[00:02:13] I competed in Colorado and yeah, running at high elevation, that's something else. I'm not even going to go down that road today. Actually, I'm going to talk about it a little bit because
[00:02:20] that shit hurts. It really does like even walking up some stairs, I felt myself getting winded. And so you could imagine running 200 meters around the track and what that probably felt like. But
[00:02:29] most importantly, after all this time, I got to do something that I never thought that I would do it again. And not only did I just do it, I was able to do it at a pretty high level. And
[00:02:40] there's a lot of room for improvement in terms of how I get my steps down on the on the long jump runway and what I do in the air and all of that stuff. But just to be able to get out there
[00:02:50] and see that I can still compete at this level. And if you've been following or listening to me for a little while, and you've heard me talk about how I was an athlete, how I used to be
[00:02:59] an athlete and to now be in this spot where I'm an athlete again. Man. So that in January, my quietness, my disappearance, that's a positive, you know, because ultimately when we
[00:03:14] want to go after something in life, we do have to make sacrifices. And for me, that sacrifice I made was in social media. That sacrifice I made was in how much urgency I put behind getting this episode
[00:03:23] out by an arbitrarily defined day. And here I am on February 4th, saying exactly what needed to be said at the right time. So yeah, I have this track and field experience. Bubulkins comes along with me track bay, which I guess now I got to call her. We're
[00:03:39] out there. She's getting video, getting footage, all of that good stuff. And I can remember on one jump in particular, I thought that I was really, I thought that I was going to get injured
[00:03:50] because I felt my hip and lower back bothering me beforehand. And I hadn't said that, but it was a worry coming into this that, oh man, I really hope these old injuries don't flare up.
[00:04:00] And so leading up to this meet, I'm doing yoga, I'm getting massages, I'm drinking more water, I'm doing everything I can in my power to heal up so that I can get out there and do the damn thing.
[00:04:11] And ultimately I get into this meet, I have one jump where I felt a little bit of something, but beside that, no pain. I walked away feeling good. I walked away in one piece and I am officially
[00:04:22] back to competing with my next track meet, the second track meet being on February 19th in Arizona, the West region masters track and field championship. So looking forward to that, still training, still figuring out my schedule, but I got a lot of confidence right now from this
[00:04:38] whole experience. And I'm thinking about how to best harness that, which is probably again, why I'm in front of this microphone right now. So that's one, that's the biggest thing that your boy is back out here long jumping at 38, like he was 18. I got that right on
[00:04:54] one take. I'm pretty happy about that. So I'm gonna keep it moving. But yo, the other really big thing from January and I can't call it a negative, but it's been
[00:05:02] challenging. I mentioned in the last episode, I think it was in the last episode that I had started EMDR therapy. So I've movement desensitization and reprocessing therapy. And I'm not a doctor.
[00:05:17] I don't want to be advocating for things that people may not need, but I am seeing the impact of this in my life. And a quick version of it because people have asked me what's it like,
[00:05:27] are you know, are you being hypnotized and short version of that is no, I'm not. But there is some tapping involved and there is some accessing of deep memories. And what's been crazy
[00:05:39] about this is how I've been able to link memories and link things from throughout my life together and realize core themes and even get to the root of various issues, ways that I felt,
[00:05:51] ways that I react to certain situations. But beyond that, it can also make you a little bit more sensitive, a little bit more, let's say raw because you are having these thoughts and
[00:06:02] these feelings that make you may not have processed for a really long time start to come to the surface. So I know this month or at least in January, I was a little bit crankier than normal.
[00:06:12] I was probably I was probably a little bit more emo than normal. I was probably a bit more irritating to deal with than normal. But that's all part of the process and that's all part of
[00:06:22] the work. So even when I've been that way, I've given myself the space to be like, yo, this is part of it. This is what I have to do. Like I didn't do this because I thought it would
[00:06:33] be easy. I didn't do any of this because I thought it would be easy. I did it because it was necessary. So I've been trying to manage that and I've been trying to create
[00:06:42] boundaries and I've been trying to preserve my energy. And I've said no to things I've said yes to other things. But one thing that I'm making sure that I do more frequently is pause. And
[00:06:55] even this morning, and that's this is probably the one of the bigger reasons I wanted to record this episode because I had something happen this morning that was fairly triggering and not
[00:07:02] triggering in the way where you need to have a trigger warning. But I was on social media. And I saw something that triggered me and it reminded me of a pretty shitty situation
[00:07:14] that happened not too long ago. And then the next thought I had to myself was, yo, no one sticks up for me. No one ever sticks up for me. Now that's a thought that I've probably had a lot
[00:07:26] of times in the past and it's led to anger and it's led to a cycle of just feeling really crappy. And even the moment when I said that to myself, I felt kind of crappy
[00:07:36] about it. But then I sat there for a few minutes and it didn't feel good while sitting there. But I realized that that thought that I had of no one ever sticks up for me, it wasn't
[00:07:48] related to the message that I saw on social media. It wasn't related to the situation that I thought that I was so salty about. It was related to something that happened decades ago. And that is the power not just of EMDR therapy, but I think therapy in
[00:08:03] general where I've gotten to a place where I can sit, process, be in the feeling. And I don't do this perfectly every time. I mean, the fact that I even made the negative comment to self,
[00:08:13] you know, you could say, oh, you know, you slipped up, but that's what we do. That happens. And a lot of this really is just like meditation in some ways where there's
[00:08:21] no way to do it right. Then there's really no way to do it wrong. What's most important is that you notice and then you're able to redirect. And to me, that is a true part
[00:08:30] of mental wealth that I feel like I'm building and I'm going to continue to be talking to you about because I'm like doing this podcast right now while I'm going through it myself. And it feels like
[00:08:41] everyone that I talk to, every guest that I have on this podcast, at least over the past few months is coming up at the right time in my journey. And so the conversation that I have
[00:08:50] with Jason Brown and then the conversation that I have with this author after that that I just recorded yesterday, it feels like all of these things are happening right on time. So I'm going to continue to follow that. I'm going to continue to share what feels the most
[00:09:04] natural and even the impact that this therapy is having because, you know, even six, seven months ago, I don't know that I would have been able to stop process, feel and say, I'm going to talk to my therapist about that today at noon for a regularly scheduled appointment
[00:09:21] and hash it out then and kind of set that aside for a little while. So I'm not going to lie. I have thought about the thing that's triggered me a few times this morning, but the level of anger
[00:09:33] and how long that anger lingered was far less than it was again, even a few months ago. So on one hand we have this track and field achievement getting back out there, not pulling
[00:09:45] my hamstring, not being part of team washed on this other end of the spectrum. There's the rawness and emotions that come with going through a new type of therapy. But then even just beyond that,
[00:09:56] the integration back into work because, you know, I returned to work basically at the end of November beginning of December, then you subtract a couple of weeks for holidays and so on. And so I'm still
[00:10:06] very much in the integration phase of figuring out how do I create these boundaries and this structure within work? And how do I continue to ask for what I want and position myself to
[00:10:17] work on the type of projects that interest me and fuel me versus doing the things that drain and take away? Because again, I know how I don't want to feel. And that's how I felt
[00:10:27] in August of 2021, right before I went out on leave. And on a financial note, because I'm talking about things that happened in January, this is the second year in a row that I've done this,
[00:10:39] but I got my annual performance bonus and work because it's paid out every January. And I put the bulk of that into my 401k. So my 401k for 2022 is already maxed. And on top of that,
[00:10:53] I got the full $10,250 company match because I work in Silicon Valley in tech. I don't do tech, but I work in tech. And as I've said in the podcast in the past, this is a result of career
[00:11:05] decisions not that I made recently, but that I made years ago. And we talk a lot about the financial outcomes, but oftentimes we don't talk about what's necessary and what's required to get there and how we can leverage these various tools in our life, including our career,
[00:11:21] to ultimately make some of these things that we want happen. So I was excited to see that go through, but I can't lie. There were a couple points in time where I was like, damn, I wish
[00:11:30] I had a little bit of that money so I could do something splurge-acious. I don't know why I just made that word up, but we're going to go with it. But I did the smarter thing
[00:11:39] because I know a lot of times if that money hits my bank account, I'm probably going to spend it or it's probably not going to make it where it needs to go. So the sooner I get that money
[00:11:48] off to the right place where it's out of sight, out of mind, the better. And last thing because I'm not going to stick around too long today, if you are looking for speakers, not even just for Black History Month,
[00:11:58] because this is the time of the year where people think of all of the Black influencers and all of the Black people they can reach out to to come speak, facilitate. I'm available throughout the year, not just during the month of February. If you're looking for someone
[00:12:11] to do a live podcast episode, you want me to bring them into a wealth show to your organization, your company. If you're looking for someone to do a talk, give a talk, tell my story,
[00:12:19] share my story. I'm happy to do that as well. So hit up info at paychecksandbalancers.com to get more information. Info at paychecksandbalancers.com. There's also a page on the website where it says services. I believe in the heading, yeah, there's a services page where you can learn
[00:12:36] a little bit more and there's a form there as well because speaking, getting out there, sharing my story, it's something that I want to do a lot more of this year because I'm finding, and even in
[00:12:46] Colorado, I'm finding that the more that I have one-on-one conversations with people and I tell them what I've been through, the more intrigued, the more interested they become, the more they start asking questions, the more they say they know someone or it's them themselves who are
[00:13:01] experiencing something similar and trying to figure out how to get through it. So I'm starting to find the power in sharing this. And so if you're looking for someone to come in and talk about the type
[00:13:10] of things that I've been through, and even if it's talking about personal finance, career progression, any of that stuff, I can talk about mental health, mental wealth, any of that stuff. I can talk about passionately and I promise you'll look good to whoever you report to
[00:13:25] who approved the budget for you to bring me in in the first place. But yo, that's all I got for today. Y'all have the best of weekends, the best of weeks until next time because I'm about
[00:13:35] to get ready for this therapy call. So until next time, be safe, I'm out, do something dope. Peace.